








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1415 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1844 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2946 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2169 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,360,535 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beto | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Kden6 | 54% | 106 |
| #3 | Jodツ | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 50% | 155 |
| #5 | maikel | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 50% | 155 |
| #5 | maikel | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | Tyrone | 46% | 178 |
| #7 | James | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | nuke enjoyer | 44% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrone | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Kden6 | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | nuke enjoyer | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Jodツ | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 532 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | nuke enjoyer | 468 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | Tyrone | 325 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | maikel | 177 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | James | 165 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maikel | +3.02 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | James | +1.99 | 60 | 64 |
| #3 | nuke enjoyer | +1.72 | 73 | 74 |
| #4 | Tyrone | +0.30 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | Jodツ | +0.20 | 56 | 65 |





