










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3032 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4163 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4139 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3196 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,582,062 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maikel | 50% | 92 |
| #2 | James | 48% | 54 |
| #3 | nuke enjoyer | 48% | 247 |
| #4 | Don Pollo | 46% | 178 |
| #5 | Jodツ | 45% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nuke enjoyer | 48% | 247 |
| #4 | Don Pollo | 46% | 178 |
| #5 | Jodツ | 45% | 87 |
| #6 | Kden6 | 45% | 85 |
| #7 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 44% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | nuke enjoyer | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Kden6 | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Jodツ | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Don Pollo | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuke enjoyer | 927 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 654 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | maikel | 352 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | James | 287 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jodツ | 209 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maikel | +3.10 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | James | +1.48 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | nuke enjoyer | +0.88 | 71 | 72 |
| #4 | Tyrone | -0.29 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | Jodツ | -0.46 | 52 | 62 |





