










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6604 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6069 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4561 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5099 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,108,881 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 929 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maikel | 49% | 85 |
| #2 | Kden6 | 49% | 88 |
| #3 | Tyrone | 48% | 247 |
| #4 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 46% | 154 |
| #5 | Don Pollo | 44% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tyrone | 48% | 247 |
| #4 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 46% | 154 |
| #5 | Don Pollo | 44% | 134 |
| #6 | James | 42% | 48 |
| #7 | Jodツ | 38% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrone | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Don Pollo | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Kden6 | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Jodツ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IGL Professor Asscheeks | 492 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Tyrone | 455 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | maikel | 306 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | James | 235 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jodツ | 219 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maikel | +2.92 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | James | +2.38 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | nuke enjoyer | +0.77 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | Jodツ | -0.15 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Tyrone | -0.56 | 64 | 64 |





