








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,840 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1888 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1116 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1527 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1277 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $842,793 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAXI | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | bbl amo | 61% | 76 |
| #3 | bigman | 56% | 174 |
| #4 | dem dead | 53% | 66 |
| #5 | Johjan75 | 48% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dem dead | 53% | 66 |
| #5 | Johjan75 | 48% | 105 |
| #6 | rip | 46% | 71 |
| #7 | ohlsonz | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | Lars Johan | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigman | 22 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | rip | 14 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | dem dead | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | MAXI | 10 | 0.0155 |
| #5 | Johjan75 | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigman | 444 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | bbl amo | 338 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | rip | 255 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Johjan75 | 254 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | dem dead | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johjan75 | +4.20 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | bbl amo | +4.19 | 92 | 59 |
| #3 | bigman | +1.88 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | MAXI | -0.02 | 61 | 49 |
| #5 | dem dead | -0.77 | 66 | 42 |





