








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 806 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 2,179 | |
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2375 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2284 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1928 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2446 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,005,766 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1026 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keki | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | bbl amo | 59% | 63 |
| #3 | MAXI | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | rip | 53% | 116 |
| #5 | bigman | 52% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigman | 20 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | rip | 14 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Rickard.F_03 | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | MAXI | 7 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | bbl amo | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bbl amo | +3.24 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | Johjan75 | +3.00 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | bigman | +0.77 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | FIBBENATORâ™› | +0.44 | 72 | 72 |
| #5 | terq | +0.38 | 90 | 63 |





