








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 237 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5051 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4527 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4873 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3793 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,355,883 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jucktmichnicht | 68% | 75 |
| #2 | Rojo | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | DÜNNBRETTBOHRER | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | Jerry | 61% | 49 |
| #5 | NiftyJ | 60% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | kR1Z0 | 53% | 89 |
| #11 | Jonah2804 | 53% | 74 |
| #12 | IamDropZ | 48% | 27 |
| #13 | DrPogoface | 45% | 31 |
| #14 | Crazy | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiftyJ | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Stev1eH | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Jucktmichnicht | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Jerry | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 698 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | NiftyJ | 516 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Jonah2804 | 418 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #4 | kR1Z0 | 323 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | T4k1 | 198 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrPogoface | +2.09 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | NiftyJ | +1.50 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | Crazy | +1.38 | 86 | 74 |
| #4 | Jucktmichnicht | +0.78 | 85 | 55 |
| #5 | T4k1 | +0.74 | 79 | 73 |





