








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1459 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1176 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2002 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1463 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $699,846 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raymone | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | PALAID VEJA | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | FRANK | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | AK | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | desmaizitis | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AK | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | desmaizitis | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | Quidamz | 51% | 125 |
| #7 | Krum1ny$ | 50% | 56 |
| #8 | rav | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quidamz | 20 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | desmaizitis | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | FRANK | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | AK | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Krum1ny$ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quidamz | 329 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Krum1ny$ | 125 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | desmaizitis | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | rav | 68 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | AK | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rav | +1.89 | 91 | 79 |
| #2 | desmaizitis | +1.23 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | PALAID VEJA | +1.01 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | TAKA | +0.74 | 52 | 73 |
| #5 | AK | +0.40 | 66 | 64 |





