








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 895 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 341 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8549 | 21% |
| Smokes | 13924 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 7325 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 10561 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,005,373 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ay | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | nice skill | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | PALAID VEJA | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | desmaizitis | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | ۞モンキー・D・ルフィ۞ | 52% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAKA | 21 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | Quidamz | 18 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Gacha | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | - Mareks | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | AK | 9 | 0.0064 |





