








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 725 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1425 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1744 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1959 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1476 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $944,851 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 922 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAKA | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Krum1ny$ | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Jonathan Silkmann | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | desmaizitis | 55% | 64 |
| #5 | Quidamz | 51% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quidamz | 203 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | desmaizitis | 148 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | TAKA | 134 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Krum1ny$ | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | AK | 64 | 0.14 | 1 min |





