








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4063 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2928 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2073 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2724 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,757 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | desmaizitis | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | TAKA | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Krum1ny$ | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | Quidamz | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | PALAID VEJA | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | desmaizitis | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | TAKA | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Krum1ny$ | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | Quidamz | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | PALAID VEJA | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quidamz | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | TAKA | 7 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | desmaizitis | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | PALAID VEJA | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Krum1ny$ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quidamz | 180 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Krum1ny$ | 143 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | TAKA | 67 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | desmaizitis | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | PALAID VEJA | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAKA | +1.49 | 64 | 73 |
| #2 | PALAID VEJA | +0.61 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | Quidamz | -0.15 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | desmaizitis | -0.18 | 79 | 46 |
| #5 | AK | -0.43 | 62 | 66 |





