








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1351 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2037 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1973 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,982 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don one deag padre mapcleaner | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | .Regy | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Synaps | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Walter White | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Tommy | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Tralalero Tralala | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlixVacson | 232 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Walter White | 165 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 159 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tralalero Tralala | 149 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pueb1o LANLVL10 | +4.55 | 84 | 49 |
| #2 | Tralalero Tralala | +3.85 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | don one deag padre mapcleaner | +3.47 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | Tommy | +2.63 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | SUUIII | +2.31 | 81 | 43 |





