








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1144 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1551 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 628 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 817 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,631 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | larry | 47% | 118 |
| #6 | Majin | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | Ru1d | 44% | 48 |
| #8 | Cfoxey | 41% | 133 |
| #9 | HamDoe | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leon | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Cfoxey | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | larry | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | HamDoe | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | szns | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | larry | 301 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Cfoxey | 206 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ru1d | 200 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | HamDoe | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Leon | 50 | 0.05 | 2 min |





