








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 822 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 422 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 26 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6158 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7636 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5607 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7540 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,130,278 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 660 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quackaine | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | Leon | 51% | 175 |
| #3 | szns | 51% | 155 |
| #4 | Batmon | 51% | 168 |
| #5 | HamDoe | 49% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leon | 23 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Cfoxey | 12 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Majin | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | szns | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Ru1d | 8 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ru1d | 1312 | 0.18 | 35 min |
| #2 | Cfoxey | 658 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | Majin | 492 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | HamDoe | 380 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | szns | 354 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quackaine | +3.81 | 74 | 45 |
| #2 | szns | +2.93 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | larry | +1.01 | 60 | 58 |
| #4 | Leon | +0.95 | 47 | 43 |
| #5 | Ru1d | +0.48 | 50 | 67 |





