








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10462 | 35% |
| Smokes | 8256 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4414 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 6917 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,241,603 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 753 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | szns | 63% | 67 |
| #2 | Quackaine | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | baby beluga | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Majin | 50% | 173 |
| #5 | Cfoxey | 48% | 271 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | larry | 47% | 351 |
| #7 | TRUB0b | 44% | 48 |
| #8 | Leon | 43% | 180 |
| #9 | HamDoe | 43% | 58 |
| #10 | Batmon | 42% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leon | 20 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Quackaine | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | larry | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Cfoxey | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Batmon | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | larry | 779 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Cfoxey | 374 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Majin | 220 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Batmon | 218 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Leon | 207 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quackaine | +3.78 | 73 | 40 |
| #2 | szns | +3.05 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | larry | +0.70 | 60 | 60 |
| #4 | Leon | +0.68 | 48 | 48 |
| #5 | Ru1d | +0.57 | 51 | 68 |





