








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3641 | 35% |
| Smokes | 946 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 3923 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1792 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,930 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | airicF | 55% | 87 |
| #3 | . | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 52% | 230 |
| #5 | F1scher | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | F1scher | 52% | 31 |
| #6 | ü 16 guppy | 51% | 49 |
| #7 | Rexlity.- | 49% | 37 |
| #8 | davmaster2000 | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | Basti | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 24 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | airicF | 20 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | ü 16 guppy | 11 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Rexlity.- | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 4 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basti sucht sein Aim | 964 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #2 | airicF | 585 | 0.32 | 16 min |
| #3 | ü 16 guppy | 190 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cuntdestroyer_69 | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Basti | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F1scher | +2.26 | 83 | 42 |
| #2 | airicF | +1.49 | 65 | 73 |
| #3 | Basti sucht sein Aim | +1.00 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Rexlity.- | -0.40 | 62 | 49 |
| #5 | ✪$orry✪ | -0.58 | 76 | 62 |





