








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2060 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2606 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4003 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2690 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,726,778 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNGÜNG | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | KnobGobbler | 52% | 82 |
| #3 | Racoon | 51% | 90 |
| #4 | chiken kebab | 50% | 119 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | 46% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Racoon | 51% | 90 |
| #4 | chiken kebab | 50% | 119 |
| #5 | Tzuggi | 46% | 240 |
| #6 | Whirl :D | 43% | 70 |
| #7 | Möksy | 42% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Whirl :D | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Tzuggi | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Möksy | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Racoon | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tzuggi | 618 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Racoon | 286 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | KnobGobbler | 246 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | chiken kebab | 143 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Whirl :D | 141 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whirl :D | +6.09 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | chiken kebab | +2.86 | 81 | 54 |
| #3 | Racoon | +2.11 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Tzuggi | +1.38 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | KnobGobbler | +0.19 | 79 | 56 |





