










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 284 | 13% |
| Smokes | 682 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 487 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,086,654 of utility $300 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Miyagi | 43% | 28 |
| #2 | Kriposs | 43% | 47 |
| #3 | Snad | 42% | 84 |
| #4 | Fugel | 42% | 89 |
| #5 | irl oil rigger | 41% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Snad | 42% | 84 |
| #4 | Fugel | 42% | 89 |
| #5 | irl oil rigger | 41% | 66 |
| #6 | SotraNinja | 41% | 96 |
| #7 | Maximator | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | irl oil rigger | 10 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | SotraNinja | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Snad | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Fugel | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Kriposs | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriposs | 246 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | SotraNinja | 208 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | irl oil rigger | 162 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Snad | 157 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Fugel | 127 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximator | +0.93 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | SotraNinja | +0.73 | 56 | 67 |
| #3 | Kriposs | +0.65 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | Fugel | -0.07 | 23 | 68 |
| #5 | Mr.Miyagi | -0.11 | 77 | 61 |





