








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5263 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4935 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3822 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2495 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,278 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatûz | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Snad | 53% | 118 |
| #3 | SotraNinja | 50% | 158 |
| #4 | Chokes | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Fugel | 48% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fugel | 48% | 122 |
| #6 | irl oil rigger | 44% | 72 |
| #7 | dennis | 43% | 47 |
| #8 | robotninja | 39% | 23 |
| #9 | Mr.Miyagi | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SotraNinja | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Snad | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | dennis | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Fugel | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | irl oil rigger | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SotraNinja | 341 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Snad | 233 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Fugel | 178 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | irl oil rigger | 161 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | robotninja | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatûz | +2.83 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | SotraNinja | +1.16 | 58 | 65 |
| #3 | Kriposs | +0.92 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | dennis | +0.32 | 60 | 31 |
| #5 | Fugel | -0.44 | 26 | 68 |





