








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 441 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1620 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1929 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2403 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1198 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,237 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriposs | 53% | 118 |
| #2 | Chokes | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Mr.Miyagi | 49% | 47 |
| #4 | SotraNinja | 48% | 166 |
| #5 | Fugel | 48% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SotraNinja | 48% | 166 |
| #5 | Fugel | 48% | 145 |
| #6 | irl oil rigger | 46% | 115 |
| #7 | robotninja | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | dennis | 42% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SotraNinja | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Kriposs | 14 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | irl oil rigger | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | dennis | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Fugel | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriposs | 632 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | SotraNinja | 375 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | irl oil rigger | 265 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Fugel | 206 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mr.Miyagi | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriposs | +1.96 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | SotraNinja | +1.30 | 57 | 66 |
| #3 | Mr.Miyagi | +1.18 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | dennis | +0.38 | 60 | 35 |
| #5 | Chokes | +0.31 | 74 | 60 |





