








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2558 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2795 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2391 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 609 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,064,272 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Vurkis | 44% | 61 |
| #11 | Tomminter | 44% | 52 |
| #12 | dennis | 43% | 28 |
| #13 | irl oil rigger | 41% | 29 |
| #14 | Kriposs | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SotraNinja | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Vurkis | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Chokes | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Tomminter | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Snad | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chokes | 257 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | robotninja | 186 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | SotraNinja | 128 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kriposs | 122 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tomminter | 113 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gnatte | +4.76 | 97 | 68 |
| #2 | Yatûz | +3.92 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | SotraNinja | +1.22 | 52 | 66 |
| #4 | Mr.Miyagi | +0.92 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | Chokes | +0.06 | 68 | 54 |





