








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 697 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 478 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 182 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4177 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5027 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5687 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4663 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,885,258 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robotninja | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | Chokes | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Yatûz | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Kriposs | 50% | 158 |
| #5 | Mr.Miyagi | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Maximator | 44% | 61 |
| #9 | irl oil rigger | 42% | 119 |
| #10 | Spz | 41% | 32 |
| #11 | dennis | 41% | 96 |
| #12 | Calqulatoren | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriposs | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | irl oil rigger | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Fugel | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | dennis | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Snad | 9 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriposs | 776 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #2 | Fugel | 410 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Snad | 301 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | irl oil rigger | 291 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Maximator | 219 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatûz | +2.98 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | Mr.Miyagi | +1.15 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | SotraNinja | +1.02 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | Maximator | +1.00 | 69 | 68 |
| #5 | Kriposs | +0.63 | 75 | 67 |





