








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2883 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1470 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2660 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1657 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,007,671 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dong Dong | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | STR0NKB0NK | 47% | 150 |
| #7 | fork | 47% | 34 |
| #8 | BigPapaPual | 46% | 125 |
| #9 | HammerCock | 44% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigPapaPual | 41 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | Sneker :| | 35 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | STR0NKB0NK | 35 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | HammerCock | 15 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Bahoonda | 8 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneker :| | 1156 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #2 | HammerCock | 245 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | BigPapaPual | 144 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | fork | 105 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bahoonda | 92 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneker :| | +2.39 | 47 | 59 |
| #2 | LittleBeasty | +1.51 | 64 | 61 |
| #3 | Dong Dong | +1.49 | 63 | 41 |
| #4 | fork | -1.65 | 41 | 54 |
| #5 | STR0NKB0NK | -1.73 | 37 | 29 |





