








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1335 | 36% |
| Smokes | 95 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 1133 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1187 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,028 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleBeasty | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | BigPapaPual | 36% | 132 |
| #3 | STR0NKB0NK | 35% | 124 |
| #4 | Sneker :| | 35% | 101 |
| #5 | HammerCock | 34% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleBeasty | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | BigPapaPual | 36% | 132 |
| #3 | STR0NKB0NK | 35% | 124 |
| #4 | Sneker :| | 35% | 101 |
| #5 | HammerCock | 34% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STR0NKB0NK | 45 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | BigPapaPual | 34 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Sneker :| | 32 | 0.0159 |
| #4 | HammerCock | 15 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | LittleBeasty | 4 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneker :| | 421 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | HammerCock | 244 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | BigPapaPual | 231 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | STR0NKB0NK | 83 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | LittleBeasty | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneker :| | +4.05 | 53 | 60 |
| #2 | LittleBeasty | +2.37 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | STR0NKB0NK | +1.03 | 46 | 30 |
| #4 | HammerCock | -0.35 | 22 | 53 |
| #5 | BigPapaPual | -0.62 | 39 | 37 |





