








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 60 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




152 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2588 | 21% |
| Smokes | 586 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 5225 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 3752 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,345,237 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2662 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sneker :| | 47% | 343 |
| #3 | HammerCock | 46% | 501 |
| #4 | LittleBeasty | 46% | 125 |
| #5 | STR0NKB0NK | 45% | 403 |
| #6 | Bahoonda | 36% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STR0NKB0NK | 133 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | Sneker :| | 98 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | HammerCock | 48 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Bahoonda | 29 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | LittleBeasty | 28 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneker :| | 1296 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | HammerCock | 942 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #3 | Bahoonda | 329 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | LittleBeasty | 259 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | STR0NKB0NK | 252 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneker :| | +3.96 | 50 | 59 |
| #2 | LittleBeasty | +2.01 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | STR0NKB0NK | -0.27 | 44 | 28 |
| #4 | HammerCock | -0.55 | 23 | 53 |
| #5 | BigPapaPual | -0.70 | 42 | 36 |





