










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




135 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7783 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1446 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 5679 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3367 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,402,680 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3562 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleBeasty | 50% | 279 |
| #2 | BigPapaPual | 47% | 343 |
| #3 | STR0NKB0NK | 46% | 363 |
| #4 | HammerCock | 46% | 371 |
| #5 | Bahoonda | 35% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleBeasty | 50% | 279 |
| #2 | BigPapaPual | 47% | 343 |
| #3 | STR0NKB0NK | 46% | 363 |
| #4 | HammerCock | 46% | 371 |
| #5 | Bahoonda | 35% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STR0NKB0NK | 122 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | BigPapaPual | 114 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | HammerCock | 34 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | LittleBeasty | 31 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Bahoonda | 21 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HammerCock | 687 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | LittleBeasty | 561 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | BigPapaPual | 445 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bahoonda | 265 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | STR0NKB0NK | 218 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneker :| | +3.25 | 50 | 60 |
| #2 | LittleBeasty | +1.10 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | STR0NKB0NK | -1.03 | 40 | 30 |
| #4 | HammerCock | -1.50 | 20 | 52 |
| #5 | BigPapaPual | -1.66 | 39 | 33 |





