








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1157 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1047 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2315 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 774 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $172,249 of utility $32 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pupuce | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 61% | 54 |
| #3 | HOOK | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Abé Turk | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | reMISTERIEU | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Abé Turk | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | reMISTERIEU | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | Spado | 36% | 22 |
| #7 | eliottts16 | 36% | 42 |
| #8 | WelcomeToTheCumZone | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abé Turk | 15 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | WelcomeToTheCumZone | 9 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | reMISTERIEU | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | eliottts16 | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abé Turk | 154 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | eliottts16 | 120 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pupuce | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | reMISTERIEU | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HooDyz Klean.up.Krew | +5.55 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | Pupuce | +3.52 | 62 | 55 |
| #3 | reMISTERIEU | +0.66 | 42 | 52 |
| #4 | kenaÏ_7 | -0.15 | 41 | 48 |
| #5 | Abé Turk | -0.72 | 61 | 50 |





