








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5410 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4696 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3202 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4432 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,146 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honest | 57% | 89 |
| #2 | BelligerentDan | 50% | 80 |
| #3 | Dysfunksionl | 49% | 112 |
| #4 | Ghost | 49% | 129 |
| #5 | Excel | 48% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | JR^2 | 44% | 93 |
| #9 | scoopster | 40% | 40 |
| #10 | zyRo | 39% | 115 |
| #11 | ItsRebirth | 39% | 44 |
| #12 | boppy | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Sproket_ | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Ghost | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ItsRebirth | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Dysfunksionl | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 1580 | 0.25 | 44 min |
| #2 | Sproket_ | 843 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #3 | zyRo | 539 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #4 | BelligerentDan | 436 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #5 | Dysfunksionl | 317 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | +2.92 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | Nope The Lemon | +0.95 | 63 | 47 |
| #3 | Honest | +0.85 | 64 | 66 |
| #4 | BelligerentDan | +0.12 | 74 | 76 |
| #5 | Ghost | +0.06 | 70 | 40 |





