








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4839 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3014 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3004 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2828 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,550 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghost | 58% | 77 |
| #2 | Geji | 53% | 57 |
| #3 | boppy | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Dark Matter | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | BelligerentDan | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | JR^2 | 41% | 66 |
| #12 | Sproket_ | 41% | 133 |
| #13 | my grandma go boom boom | 39% | 23 |
| #14 | Gamma | 39% | 115 |
| #15 | Dysfunksionl | 36% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Ghost | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Sproket_ | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Geji | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Dysfunksionl | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 1244 | 0.26 | 36 min |
| #2 | Sproket_ | 421 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Gamma | 296 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Geji | 286 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #5 | BelligerentDan | 216 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | +3.07 | 72 | 76 |
| #2 | Geji | +2.08 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Honest | +1.38 | 70 | 64 |
| #4 | BelligerentDan | +0.71 | 81 | 82 |
| #5 | Dark Matter | +0.66 | 68 | 54 |





