








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3825 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2386 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2254 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2458 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,187 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BelligerentDan | 53% | 57 |
| #2 | Honest | 50% | 111 |
| #3 | Gamma | 49% | 112 |
| #4 | Excel | 49% | 273 |
| #5 | JR^2 | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | scoopster | 48% | 90 |
| #9 | Nope The Lemon | 48% | 65 |
| #10 | Sproket_ | 45% | 167 |
| #11 | boppy | 43% | 42 |
| #12 | zyRo | 36% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 21 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Sproket_ | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Nope The Lemon | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ItsRebirth | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Gamma | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 1451 | 0.25 | 39 min |
| #2 | Sproket_ | 637 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | zyRo | 374 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #4 | Gamma | 330 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | BelligerentDan | 310 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | +3.37 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | BelligerentDan | +1.33 | 81 | 80 |
| #3 | Honest | +0.75 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | Ghost | +0.42 | 70 | 41 |
| #5 | Nope The Lemon | +0.26 | 61 | 50 |





