








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 339 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5718 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3485 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3395 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3654 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,693,116 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boppy | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Honest | 54% | 163 |
| #3 | Ghost | 52% | 172 |
| #4 | BelligerentDan | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | JR^2 | 51% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | scoopster | 48% | 79 |
| #9 | Gamma | 46% | 254 |
| #10 | Dysfunksionl | 45% | 167 |
| #11 | ItsRebirth | 42% | 64 |
| #12 | zyRo | 41% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 27 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Dysfunksionl | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Honest | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Ghost | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Nope The Lemon | 6 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 2039 | 0.24 | 55 min |
| #2 | Gamma | 680 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | zyRo | 641 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #4 | BelligerentDan | 613 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #5 | Dysfunksionl | 507 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | +3.00 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | Honest | +0.63 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | BelligerentDan | +0.37 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | Ghost | +0.29 | 71 | 45 |
| #5 | Nope The Lemon | -0.01 | 57 | 47 |





