








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 486 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11853 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9168 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6724 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7615 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,080,886 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BelligerentDan | 52% | 167 |
| #2 | Honest | 51% | 227 |
| #3 | Ghost | 50% | 285 |
| #4 | Sproket_ | 49% | 393 |
| #5 | boppy | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nope The Lemon | 47% | 131 |
| #9 | JR^2 | 47% | 140 |
| #10 | scoopster | 47% | 168 |
| #11 | zyRo | 47% | 226 |
| #12 | ItsRebirth | 45% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sproket_ | 21 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Ghost | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Dysfunksionl | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Gamma | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ItsRebirth | 8 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sproket_ | 1351 | 0.16 | 33 min |
| #2 | zyRo | 1057 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #3 | BelligerentDan | 947 | 0.26 | 29 min |
| #4 | Gamma | 783 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #5 | Dysfunksionl | 781 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | +3.17 | 70 | 76 |
| #2 | BelligerentDan | +0.59 | 78 | 78 |
| #3 | Honest | +0.56 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Ghost | +0.37 | 72 | 45 |
| #5 | Nope The Lemon | -0.35 | 59 | 51 |





