








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3206 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4713 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3412 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3809 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,185 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BelligerentDan | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Bensxn24 | 52% | 69 |
| #3 | scoopster | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Sproket_ | 51% | 89 |
| #5 | buanG | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Ghost | 47% | 77 |
| #12 | JustMalarkie | 46% | 82 |
| #13 | Gamma | 44% | 93 |
| #14 | zyRo | 41% | 66 |
| #15 | Jordash | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Sproket_ | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Ghost | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | JustMalarkie | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | zyRo | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 756 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #2 | zyRo | 315 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sproket_ | 313 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Gamma | 218 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | BelligerentDan | 207 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | +3.23 | 71 | 76 |
| #2 | buanG | +2.09 | 54 | 58 |
| #3 | BelligerentDan | +0.72 | 77 | 74 |
| #4 | Ghost | +0.69 | 75 | 42 |
| #5 | Sproket_ | +0.52 | 44 | 58 |





