








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1818 | 40% |
| Smokes | 922 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 815 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1032 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,265 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1482 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✦︎ Lyme ✦ | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Toestiir | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | psychopomp | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | BALD-PEEK Leo | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | MaddHands | 52% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Toestiir | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | psychopomp | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | BALD-PEEK Leo | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | MaddHands | 52% | 103 |
| #6 | ssj3grillz | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaddHands | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Toestiir | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | psychopomp | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | BALD-PEEK Leo | 4 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | ✦︎ Lyme ✦ | 3 | 0.0173 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaddHands | 451 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | psychopomp | 111 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Toestiir | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | ssj3grillz | 48 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | BALD-PEEK Leo | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toestiir | +2.33 | 54 | 53 |
| #2 | ✦︎ Lyme ✦ | +1.99 | 89 | 68 |
| #3 | BALD-PEEK Leo | +1.65 | 80 | 47 |
| #4 | 蓝精灵 | +0.68 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | MaddHands | -0.36 | 73 | 66 |





