








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1935 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1538 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2412 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2189 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,923,810 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1784 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toy yoda | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | ✦︎ Lyme ✦ | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | psychopomp | 58% | 156 |
| #4 | Toestiir | 58% | 138 |
| #5 | MaddHands | 52% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaddHands | 26 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Toestiir | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | ✦︎ Lyme ✦ | 9 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | psychopomp | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Clayton | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaddHands | 900 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #2 | psychopomp | 388 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Clayton | 335 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #4 | ✦︎ Lyme ✦ | 206 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Toestiir | 190 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✦︎ Lyme ✦ | +3.66 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | BALD-PEEK Leo | +2.95 | 86 | 53 |
| #3 | toy yoda | +0.90 | 54 | 64 |
| #4 | Toestiir | +0.57 | 62 | 54 |
| #5 | Clayton | +0.47 | 76 | 62 |





