








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 606 matches | ||
| Faceit | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5075 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6332 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7156 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5879 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,006,474 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 848 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Link | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | TheBreadmeister | 57% | 69 |
| #3 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 56% | 93 |
| #4 | riotmaker | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | Dissonant | 54% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | krook | 53% | 51 |
| #7 | temu jL | 52% | 92 |
| #8 | Eliviana | 43% | 46 |
| #9 | mystic | 43% | 239 |
| #10 | diablo^^ | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBreadmeister | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | temu jL | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | mystic | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | diablo^^ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mystic | 382 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | TheBreadmeister | 327 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | Link | 310 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #4 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | 251 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | temu jL | 197 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | temu jL | +1.73 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | riotmaker | +1.71 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | Stratty 7.62s LIKE OSCAR MEYER | +1.01 | 61 | 66 |
| #4 | Ren0_Loses | +0.79 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | krook | +0.65 | 68 | 59 |





