








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2018 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1808 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2599 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2608 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $817,831 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Typsy | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | ⸸crxss⁶⁶⁶ | 55% | 102 |
| #3 | Ren0_Loses | 52% | 92 |
| #4 | Eliviana | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | diablo^^ | 45% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Typsy | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | ⸸crxss⁶⁶⁶ | 55% | 102 |
| #3 | Ren0_Loses | 52% | 92 |
| #4 | Eliviana | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | diablo^^ | 45% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⸸crxss⁶⁶⁶ | 18 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Ren0_Loses | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Eliviana | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | diablo^^ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Typsy | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diablo^^ | 273 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ren0_Loses | 223 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | ⸸crxss⁶⁶⁶ | 195 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Typsy | 116 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Eliviana | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Typsy | +4.10 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | temu jL | +2.08 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | Ren0_Loses | +1.83 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | ⸸crxss⁶⁶⁶ | +0.15 | 79 | 47 |
| #5 | Eliviana | -2.82 | 44 | 45 |





