








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 860 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 490 matches | ||
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3468 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2522 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4417 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3436 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,469,270 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 876 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huntrix | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | Bekim | 55% | 111 |
| #3 | krook | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | riotmaker | 53% | 53 |
| #5 | iD_ | 52% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | krook | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | riotmaker | 53% | 53 |
| #5 | iD_ | 52% | 73 |
| #6 | kik[N]it | 49% | 39 |
| #7 | Ren0_Loses | 43% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ren0_Loses | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Bekim | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | huntrix | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | iD_ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | riotmaker | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ren0_Loses | 478 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Bekim | 438 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | iD_ | 312 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | huntrix | 180 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | kik[N]it | 124 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bekim | +2.78 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | riotmaker | +1.68 | 65 | 48 |
| #3 | kik[N]it | +0.66 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | mystic | +0.36 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | krook | +0.15 | 58 | 56 |





