










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2893 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 555 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7757 | 17% |
| Smokes | 11450 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 13183 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 13229 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,973,602 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3608 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☩ 𝕤𝓟ℛ𝓩𝟠 ☩ | 70% | 96 |
| #2 | EL REDEEMED | 62% | 141 |
| #3 | Dr.Gondy | 54% | 108 |
| #4 | ttfreckles | 49% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☩ 𝕤𝓟ℛ𝓩𝟠 ☩ | 70% | 96 |
| #2 | EL REDEEMED | 62% | 141 |
| #3 | Dr.Gondy | 54% | 108 |
| #4 | ttfreckles | 49% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL REDEEMED | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ttfreckles | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Dr.Gondy | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Gondy | 300 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | EL REDEEMED | 284 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | ☩ 𝕤𝓟ℛ𝓩𝟠 ☩ | 142 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | ttfreckles | 42 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dissonant | +2.19 | 53 | 52 |
| #2 | ☩ 𝕤𝓟ℛ𝓩𝟠 ☩ | +1.54 | 80 | 43 |
| #3 | Dr.Gondy | -0.22 | 37 | 71 |
| #4 | EL REDEEMED | -1.22 | 55 | 40 |
| #5 | ttfreckles | -3.72 | 7 | 29 |





