








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 279 | 48% |
| Smokes | 156 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 21 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 121 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $60,006 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiesty | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | DanielS | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Roxin | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Samaritans | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | wimp | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mirage and Me | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Snart Dooly | 2 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | Shiesty | 2 | 0.0241 |
| #4 | DanielS | 2 | 0.0299 |
| #5 | Mr. Trackpad | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samaritans | 43 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mirage and Me | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dill | 28 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #4 | DanielS | 20 | 0.30 | 0 min |
| #5 | Snart Dooly | 18 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mirage and Me | +3.54 | 79 | 46 |
| #2 | Roxin | +2.55 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | DanielS | +1.53 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | Dill | +0.91 | 77 | 35 |
| #5 | Samaritans | +0.86 | 69 | 67 |





