








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 326 matches | ||
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6832 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6444 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7606 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4567 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,776,110 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 931 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | risen | 60% | 162 |
| #2 | OOMPA | 60% | 148 |
| #3 | savage | 60% | 52 |
| #4 | Zibzz | 58% | 65 |
| #5 | E-Grill | 56% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Finnegan | 52% | 264 |
| #9 | Husky | 50% | 58 |
| #10 | Owly | 49% | 125 |
| #11 | Yakob | 46% | 59 |
| #12 | 1991 never happened | 43% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | real milk | 79 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | OOMPA | 33 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Finnegan | 30 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Yakob | 21 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | E-Grill | 11 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finnegan | 674 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | real milk | 511 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | risen | 369 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | DysexlicStoner240 | 337 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | OOMPA | 300 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | risen | +2.37 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | E-Grill | +2.17 | 89 | 41 |
| #3 | DysexlicStoner240 | +1.67 | 88 | 59 |
| #4 | OOMPA | +0.93 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | Duzz | +0.88 | 75 | 62 |





