








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 353 matches | ||
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2943 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2868 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4323 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4095 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,576,798 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savage | 61% | 248 |
| #2 | Husky | 59% | 277 |
| #3 | DysexlicStoner240 | 59% | 534 |
| #4 | risen | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Finnegan | 55% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | risen | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Finnegan | 55% | 132 |
| #6 | Yakob | 53% | 148 |
| #7 | E-Grill | 49% | 61 |
| #8 | Duzz | 49% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yakob | 31 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | savage | 25 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | DysexlicStoner240 | 10 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Husky | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Duzz | 7 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savage | 1101 | 0.21 | 30 min |
| #2 | Husky | 827 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | DysexlicStoner240 | 760 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #4 | Yakob | 567 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #5 | Finnegan | 303 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DysexlicStoner240 | +2.25 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | risen | +1.84 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | E-Grill | +1.29 | 87 | 35 |
| #4 | Owly | +1.01 | 84 | 56 |
| #5 | Duzz | +0.24 | 76 | 63 |





