








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




109 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2291 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1637 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2267 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2415 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $346,431 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yakob | 64% | 50 |
| #2 | E-Grill | 64% | 86 |
| #3 | DysexlicStoner240 | 62% | 77 |
| #4 | risen | 62% | 110 |
| #5 | g00s3 | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Duzz | 54% | 198 |
| #8 | Zibzz | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | 1991 never happened | 47% | 70 |
| #10 | Owly | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | Finnegan | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duzz | 51 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | OOMPA | 29 | 0.0165 |
| #3 | Finnegan | 19 | 0.0226 |
| #4 | Yakob | 18 | 0.0174 |
| #5 | 1991 never happened | 8 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duzz | 399 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | OOMPA | 258 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | risen | 241 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Yakob | 194 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | 1991 never happened | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zibzz | +2.98 | 71 | 55 |
| #2 | risen | +2.61 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | DysexlicStoner240 | +2.24 | 89 | 56 |
| #4 | E-Grill | +1.90 | 90 | 37 |
| #5 | Finnegan | +1.24 | 68 | 39 |





