








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1234 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2142 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1430 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1781 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,081 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DysexlicStoner240 | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | risen | 63% | 49 |
| #3 | E-Grill | 63% | 43 |
| #4 | Duzz | 60% | 148 |
| #5 | Yakob | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | E-Grill | 63% | 43 |
| #4 | Duzz | 60% | 148 |
| #5 | Yakob | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | real milk | 56% | 90 |
| #7 | 1991 never happened | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | real milk | 37 | 0.0209 |
| #2 | Duzz | 33 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Yakob | 7 | 0.0267 |
| #4 | risen | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | E-Grill | 5 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | real milk | 274 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Duzz | 217 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | risen | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yakob | 66 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | 1991 never happened | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DysexlicStoner240 | +3.24 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | Duzz | +3.23 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | E-Grill | +2.84 | 90 | 36 |
| #4 | risen | +2.33 | 82 | 63 |
| #5 | OOMPA | +1.09 | 72 | 56 |





