








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1005 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 394 matches | ||
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4368 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5569 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4868 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5311 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,317,139 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | real milk | 62% | 77 |
| #2 | savage | 62% | 279 |
| #3 | risen | 61% | 75 |
| #4 | Husky | 59% | 293 |
| #5 | Owly | 59% | 534 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Yakob | 57% | 214 |
| #7 | E-Grill | 53% | 129 |
| #8 | Finnegan | 53% | 179 |
| #9 | Duzz | 52% | 237 |
| #10 | 1991 never happened | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yakob | 43 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | real milk | 42 | 0.0270 |
| #3 | Owly | 34 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Duzz | 26 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | savage | 23 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | savage | 1247 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #2 | Husky | 876 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | Yakob | 826 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #4 | Owly | 818 | 0.07 | 21 min |
| #5 | Duzz | 519 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | risen | +2.87 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | DysexlicStoner240 | +2.18 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | E-Grill | +1.76 | 88 | 38 |
| #4 | Owly | +0.97 | 84 | 56 |
| #5 | Duzz | +0.46 | 78 | 61 |





