








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5148 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4484 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3231 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1812 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,636 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | love | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | snoopdobbydob | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | L1nq | 52% | 115 |
| #4 | hubert | 50% | 137 |
| #5 | bugemeister | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | marlboro | 47% | 179 |
| #7 | trenches | 47% | 57 |
| #8 | bones | 45% | 31 |
| #9 | hambubger | 45% | 29 |
| #10 | KillerKeemPaul | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marlboro | 52 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | love | 31 | 0.0264 |
| #3 | hubert | 26 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | KillerKeemPaul | 24 | 0.0244 |
| #5 | L1nq | 9 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1nq | 477 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | marlboro | 324 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | hubert | 306 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | snoopdobbydob | 141 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | love | 140 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | love | +3.87 | 84 | 31 |
| #2 | L1nq | +2.66 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | hambubger | +2.47 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | snoopdobbydob | +1.90 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | LuvDingo/ttv | +0.60 | 59 | 56 |





