








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 712 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 486 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2942 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1429 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 4333 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2681 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,200,952 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Creativity | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | countrybo | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | tek | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | projectdp | 51% | 155 |
| #5 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 49% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DumpDaddy | 47% | 86 |
| #9 | h3ndr1x | 46% | 157 |
| #10 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 43% | 74 |
| #11 | TrueKillah | 41% | 76 |
| #12 | The G-String Dropper | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpDaddy | 17 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 16 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | h3ndr1x | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | projectdp | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 284 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | countrybo | 221 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| #3 | tek | 152 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | DumpDaddy | 137 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | projectdp | 125 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | countrybo | +3.16 | 44 | 52 |
| #2 | projectdp | +0.94 | 64 | 49 |
| #3 | h3ndr1x | +0.88 | 39 | 52 |
| #4 | LordofFlies | +0.54 | 46 | 46 |
| #5 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | +0.43 | 34 | 44 |





