








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 438 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2754 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1370 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 4047 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2540 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,984,852 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | countrybo | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | projectdp | 53% | 145 |
| #3 | tek | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | InstaDeath | 49% | 61 |
| #5 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 49% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lupin | 47% | 101 |
| #8 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 46% | 70 |
| #9 | DumpDaddy | 44% | 68 |
| #10 | The G-String Dropper | 43% | 35 |
| #11 | TrueKillah | 41% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpDaddy | 13 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 12 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | h3ndr1x | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Lupin | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 261 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | countrybo | 206 | 0.36 | 3 min |
| #3 | tek | 152 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | projectdp | 119 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | DumpDaddy | 107 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | countrybo | +3.26 | 45 | 51 |
| #2 | h3ndr1x | +1.10 | 39 | 52 |
| #3 | projectdp | +0.94 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | LordofFlies | +0.58 | 46 | 47 |
| #5 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | +0.45 | 33 | 44 |





