








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 877 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1518 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9257 | 23% |
| Smokes | 11022 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8363 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 11475 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,692,975 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | projectdp | 47% | 310 |
| #8 | -BatCharlie- | 46% | 90 |
| #9 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 46% | 312 |
| #10 | DumpDaddy | 45% | 253 |
| #11 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 44% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpDaddy | 23 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 17 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Lupin | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | TrueKillah | 14 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpDaddy | 354 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | projectdp | 254 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | Lupin | 243 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | LordofFlies | 206 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | InstaDeath | 185 | 0.05 | 4 min |





