








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1041 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1559 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9535 | 23% |
| Smokes | 11410 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8582 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 11768 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,813,041 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrueKillah | 52% | 254 |
| #2 | Lupin | 50% | 310 |
| #3 | InstaDeath | 49% | 184 |
| #4 | The G-String Dropper | 49% | 138 |
| #5 | projectdp | 47% | 326 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | LordofFlies | 46% | 157 |
| #7 | -BatCharlie- | 46% | 90 |
| #8 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 46% | 314 |
| #9 | DumpDaddy | 45% | 263 |
| #10 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 43% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpDaddy | 24 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | LordofFlies | 21 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 19 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Lupin | 15 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpDaddy | 363 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | projectdp | 268 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | Lupin | 236 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | LordofFlies | 213 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | TrueKillah | 192 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | +1.91 | 37 | 42 |
| #2 | projectdp | +1.54 | 64 | 51 |
| #3 | h3ndr1x | +1.30 | 41 | 50 |
| #4 | The G-String Dropper | +0.80 | 47 | 44 |
| #5 | LordofFlies | +0.74 | 47 | 43 |





