








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 732 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 37 | 2% |
| Smokes | 79 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 1112 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 989 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $518,026 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 626 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | h3ndr1x | 46% | 312 |
| #11 | llama killa | 41% | 46 |
| #12 | projectdp | 40% | 183 |
| #13 | TrueKillah | 39% | 85 |
| #14 | -BatCharlie- | 30% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fergonne | 560 | 0.38 | 12 min |
| #2 | h3ndr1x | 527 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | DumpDaddy | 317 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | llama killa | 246 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | LordofFlies | 202 | 0.08 | 4 min |





