








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 982 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1016 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2908 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3282 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4079 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2273 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,008,467 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 52% | 254 |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 46% | 224 |
| #3 | No Creativity | 45% | 89 |
| #4 | Lupin | 45% | 192 |
| #5 | InstaDeath | 44% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpDaddy | 25 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | h3ndr1x | 16 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | LordofFlies | 16 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | Lupin | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | projectdp | 7 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 424 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 344 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | projectdp | 234 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | InstaDeath | 197 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | No Creativity | 177 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | +1.32 | 43 | 50 |
| #2 | projectdp | +1.12 | 66 | 53 |
| #3 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | +1.06 | 36 | 39 |
| #4 | LordofFlies | +0.97 | 51 | 44 |
| #5 | No Creativity | +0.26 | 56 | 45 |





