








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 944 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2729 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3112 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3862 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2132 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,726,245 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 53% | 244 |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 47% | 205 |
| #3 | InstaDeath | 46% | 139 |
| #4 | Lupin | 45% | 192 |
| #5 | No Creativity | 44% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpDaddy | 23 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | h3ndr1x | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Lupin | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | LordofFlies | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | projectdp | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 409 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 320 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | projectdp | 227 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | InstaDeath | 181 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | No Creativity | 174 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | +1.29 | 43 | 50 |
| #2 | projectdp | +1.11 | 65 | 53 |
| #3 | LordofFlies | +1.06 | 51 | 47 |
| #4 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | +1.05 | 36 | 38 |
| #5 | No Creativity | +0.37 | 57 | 46 |





