








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1080 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 919 matches | ||
| Wingman | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13203 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4724 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3064 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 7621 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 2094 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,750,299 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 943 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The G-String Dropper | 58% | 131 |
| #2 | LordofFlies | 53% | 145 |
| #3 | Lupin | 52% | 314 |
| #4 | Pissboy, M.D. | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | h3ndr1x | 47% | 312 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | 44% | 115 |
| #8 | No Creativity | 44% | 93 |
| #9 | InstaDeath | 43% | 135 |
| #10 | TrueKillah | 41% | 258 |
| #11 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 40% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 26 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 25 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | LordofFlies | 20 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | TrueKillah | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Top Fraggin In My Jordans | 16 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3ndr1x | 487 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | DumpDaddy | 292 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | LordofFlies | 245 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lupin | 232 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | No Creativity | 208 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The 5th Tiger Crunch | +1.83 | 38 | 46 |
| #2 | projectdp | +1.42 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | Pissboy, M.D. | +1.21 | 72 | 28 |
| #4 | h3ndr1x | +0.96 | 41 | 47 |
| #5 | LordofFlies | +0.57 | 44 | 47 |





